New Market Terminology

So some new definitions have come out as of today for some of your favorite market terms. Enjoy:

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.


CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
The wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
Market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my financial advisor has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
Equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo
@$240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Former investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer used.


P.S. Jerry Yang should be on trial.

Take your vertigo medicine!

Nothing new to report today but the fact that the end of the US car maker is near. Nearer than you even already though. GM below $6 puts their market cap below 1929 levels. Ford is at $2 and some change. I actually picked up some Ford today and bought some put options on GM. So anyway, I was thinking, it would be fun to have an application that showed you not only how much money you were losing but what that money could have bought you. So you enter all your stocks, how much you bought them for, and how many and it would have an output like this:

12:09:02 iPhone
12:09:03 Dinner for 4 at Roys
12:09:04 Toyota Yaris
12:09:05 Yamaha R1
12:09:06 New Drum Set
12:09:07 New Laptop
12:09:08 Used C-Class
12:09:09 New C-Class
12:09:10 Trip for two to Hawaii
12:09:11 College education for 3 kids
12:09:12 One pack of beyond 7 condoms
12:09:13 Meal at Taco Bell
12:09:14 New set of Perellis
12:09:15 Down payment on first home
12:09:16 Total cost of a wedding at the St. Regis resort
12:09:17 Breast implants
12:09:18 Four kilos of cocaine
12:09:19 Used BMW M6

You get the idea. The dow broke 9000 today and the next support although said to be at 8500 might actually be closer to 7000. I think all we can hope for at this point is that there actually is a support.

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How to fix your portfolio and all your other problems

So this is how you tie a noose:



There should be a loop left from step 2 towards the bottom that you can then pull on. Have a friend you trust help you if necessary.
Seriously though people. WTF!! The markets started out up, then it fluctuated quite a bit and then it tanked following my theory that when ever the Fed Chairman is on TV the market falls triple digits. Lots of volatility. Lots of opps to make lots of money but also lose it. Hang in there and try to resist selling on the way down if you can stomach the losses. Oh and the biggest rule in all this, DO NOT LISTEN TO ME!


http://dollarone.blogspot.com/

Another day another 800 points

I am sure you all were holding on to your stomachs as we went on that 800 point drop this morning. But I did notice something today. The market had a below average trading volume for the first part of the day. Not much was being traded. In fact at around noon market time there was only 500 Million shares traded on the NYSE I think. Anyway, things were looking like no body was doing much and most people if anything were just selling what they could to get out of their positions. Well, something strange happened immediately before the market closed. There was a large spike in volume across the board. And now when you check the volume on most stocks they show double the average daily trade volume. Additionally I see that most stocks recovered some of their losses and some are up aftermarket. It looks to me like tomorrow might just be an up day. It's obviously too soon to tell but it looks like some investors decided that the market was just too oversold and decided to jump in at the end of the day. Personally I don't care to speculate with this one. I am gonna wait until there are signs of a recovery and buy on the way up. Trying to guess the bottom of the market is a fool's game. I do think that there are some incredible deals in tech and the overall markets that look like a steal at these prices. Good luck tomorrow, I think if Pepto Bismol was a traded commodity it would have gone through the roof today.

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